Being a first time mom can be difficult enough as it is without people saying ridiculous things to them. The problem, though, is sometimes, people don’t realize exactly what to say to a new mom. What may seem like a harmless question or piece of advice to you can be taken horribly wrong, especially by a new mom.
There are several things you should not say to a new mom, especially if you don’t know her. The grocery store line is hardly the time to criticize a stranger’s parenting skills, even if you believe you have the best of intentions.
On the other hand, there are also words that can uplift them and gratify them. So why not choose them, right? Besides every mom and soon to be mom deserves them.
What to Say to a New Mom and What to Avoid
Encouraging Words to Tell Moms
“You’re doing a great job!”
A first time mom is doing everything with their new baby in mind. And it helps a lot to show your appreciation for the efforts they put in every step of the way.
“Your baby is lucky to have you as their mom.”
All moms want the best for their babies, and they are willing to go above and beyond just to achieve it. Letting them know that their efforts have a significant impact on their babies is gratifying.
“You’re not doing it wrong, you’re just learning.”
Giving words of advice for new parents really helps, especially if it’s said with respect and compassion. Instead of making them feel like they are doing things wrong, remind them that learning is an inevitable part of parenting.
Things Not to Say to a New Mom
“When are you going to start trying for baby number two?”
Firstly, this is no one’s business. Secondly, a new mom doesn’t currently have time to think about the next baby.
“Do you have him/her on a sleep schedule yet?”
Sleep schedules don’t just happen overnight, and implying that a new mom is doing something wrong by not having one is counterproductive.
“You’re breastfeeding, right? You do know that breast is best?”
This is none of your business and has the potential to guilt someone that doesn’t have the ability to breastfeed. You can try to give motherly advice and let her know that her efforts to feed her baby are actually commendable.
“My baby never cried.”
Never is a strong word. Saying this to a new mom implies she is doing something wrong that makes her baby cry.
“Breastfeeding came so easily to me.”
While that is fantastic for you, some people do have trouble with breastfeeding. Saying this makes the new mom feel as though she is doing something wrong.
“Sleep when the baby sleeps.”
While this is valid advice, it rarely happens. With all the things to do each day, many moms struggle to take a nap when their babies nap.
While it may be possible for some, there may just be too much to do for her to take a nap. This comment is just aggravating.
Don’t say these things to a new mom. Not only do most of them undermine her parenting, but they also bring on feelings of guilt. In fact, most of these things are just downright rude.
Isn’t better to just offer encouraging words for moms instead of these insensitive ones?