Whether we want to admit it or not, we all compare ourselves to others at least once in our lives. It is human nature. While you may believe that you are doing this motherhood thing right, you may find yourself comparing yourself with other mothers who you believe to be holding all together much better than yourself. The truth is though, while it is somewhat normal to do this, it isn’t necessarily healthy.
Most moms that compare themselves to other mothers have low self-esteem, lack confidence or just feel as though they are doing this whole motherhood gig more successfully. Not only that but feeling as though you do not measure up to what society expects of you makes you very susceptible to feeling shame. In addition, comparing yourself to other mothers can cause envy, stress and even bouts of depression. Face it, when you compare yourself in this way, it is a no-win situation and you are setting yourself up for failure.
If you are looking for ways to stop comparing yourself to other mothers, there are a few ways to break that cycle.
How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Other Mothers
Another mother may appear to be happier than you but that doesn’t mean it’s a fact. In fact, appearances can be deceiving. Everyone has challenges, disappointments and shortcomings, that is just life. If you knew everything about every mother you compared yourself to, chances are you wouldn’t feel so down on yourself. Especially if you saw yourself accurately rather than constantly downgrading yourself by comparing.
Rather than measuring yourself against what another mom is like, compare who you are today with who you used to be. Chances are you have accomplished some amazing things both now and in the past. Give yourself credit for all the fantastic things you have done in life, and stop worrying about others.
Face it, when you spend time comparing yourself to other mothers, you are going to focus a lot of energy on things you have no control of. Stop worrying about the things you can not change and instead, focus on the things you can.
Chances are, you have a lot to be grateful for in life. Rather than wishing your life was more like someone else’s, spend that time counting your blessings. Become a more grateful person that focuses on the positive in life and you will find you stop comparing yourself to others. In fact, if you start a gratitude journal it can serve as a reminder in those moments, to be happy with what you have.
Live in the Now
You are less likely to be jealous of the way someone else’s life is when you are living in the now. Being present and living in the moment can help you to stop comparing yourself because in turn, you will be truly happy with your own.
Send out Positive Vibes
From now on when you catch yourself in the midst of comparing yourself to another mother, change the dialogue in your head to wish her good fortune instead. Be happy and thankful for things she has and wish her more prosperity in the future. Remember, the things you send out to the universe tend to come back to you.
Comparing yourself to other mothers is pointless and will only cause you to feel negative about yourself, and even towards others. Stop doing it. It is not healthy. Instead, choose to stop assuming, stop measuring, be realistic, show gratitude and live in the now. Doing these things will allow you to change your thinking and start sending out positive vibes, rather than negative.