When you become a mother, you want to give everything to your child and do everything for them. Unfortunately, giving too much and hovering around our kids will not be good for them. We may not be aware of it, but we’re already showing signs of being a helicopter mom.
What is a Helicopter Mom?
You may have seen a helicopter parent meme online, but you’re not familiar with what it means.
A helicopter parent is someone who, like a helicopter, hovers over their child as they grow up. Hearing that, you may be wondering, “A parent needs to be there for their children, so is helicopter parenting good?”
We do need to guide our children, but not to the extent that we are controlling them. For example, your middle school child might have an issue in school, but instead of letting them talk to the teacher and address it themselves, you go straight to the teacher.
One of the characteristics of helicopter parents is that you want to protect your kids, which is okay, but being a helicopter parent also robs your children of the chance to learn for themselves. One of the problems with helicopter parenting is that you are not letting your kids learn from their own mistakes and experiences.
You can still stop being a helicopter parent. You just have to understand the difference between helicopter parenting vs free-range parenting.
A free-range parent is the opposite of a helicopter parent. They are the ones who let their kids be wild, at least some of the time. These parents allow their kids to have the freedom to make mistakes and learn from their experiences.
How to Stop Being a Helicopter Parent
Allow Mistakes to Happen
No doubt, you can do almost everything for your child, but that doesn’t mean you should. Allow your child to experience life and the outside world.
If your child made a mistake, allow them to understand and experience the natural consequences of their actions, especially when it comes to taking responsibility. This is how they learn.
Next time your child makes a mistake, give them a chance to fix it themselves.
Let Them Own Up to Their Actions
Stop taking responsibility for your child’s actions. While it is tempting to excuse their behavior because perhaps you forgot to remind them of something, do not do it. Their behavior and actions are solely theirs, and if we excuse them away, they will learn nothing.
Let Them Go and Let Them Live
This may be the hardest part for a helicopter parent.
As a parent, you want to protect, guide, and help them grow. If you can prevent any scratch, any disappointment, and hurt, you’d do it. But will this help your kids? Let them be wild and let them live their lives.
Give your children the freedom that they need. Even at a young age, allow them to play outside. Allow them to ride their bikes, and even if they scrape their knees, let it happen. Allow them to explore who they are. This will help your kids learn and grow up independent.
Let Them Learn From Their Failures
It hurts to see your child fail, but you can’t shield them from one of the realities of life. With each failure and disappointment, your child will learn and use this experience to be better.
While we only have positive intentions, being a helicopter mom may do more damage than good. If we want the best for our kids, we should learn to be better parents by guiding them in the right way.
Let them explore, let them have fun, and let them fail. Then, see how they overcome each obstacle on their own and get better. Soon, you’ll see how this will all work out. The next time you want to help or take over, take a breath and step back. Allow your child to live.